How to Get Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night

Peach's Advice on How to Get Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night and Take Good Naps, and Why it is Important

(Other Than For the Sake of Mom and Dad’s Convenience and Sanity—Although That’s Important, Too)

Important Facts to Keep in Mind:

· Your baby is intelligent.

· You are intelligent.

· Your baby needs sleep to function sanely.

· You need sleep to function sanely.

· For babies, sleep is as important as food.

· Learning to go to sleep alone is your baby’s first discipline and the very first step towards self-governance, your ultimate goal for your child for the next 18 years.

· Training your baby to fall asleep alone will be your first exercise of parental authority.

I have found it easier to “schedule” around baby’s sleep schedule rather than eating schedule. Babies need to sleep every 1 ½ -2 hours. When a baby reaches 6 months old, this may stretch to 3 hours of wakefulness before needing another nap. Learn your baby’s “tired signs,” which may include yawning, rubbing eyes or ears, fussiness, or listlessness. When you know your baby is tired, or it has been 2 to 3 hours since the last nap, put her to bed. Do not try to keep your baby awake! Keeping your baby awake will stimulate her adrenaline response. Once adrenaline is in the system it is almost impossible to get baby to sleep. An adrenaline affected baby will go on and on for countless cranky hours.

How to Put Your Baby to Bed:

1. Feed and change baby before laying her down. Some books recommend feeding when baby wakes up, and not before bed. I have found that very young babies need to be fed before and after naps. Feeding before bed helps baby to sleep longer, and when she wakes with the “Forty Minute Fussies,” (see below) you know it is not hunger.
2. Do not use a pacifier.
3. If at all possible, lay the baby down awake. If the baby falls asleep during feeding, don’t sweat it, just carry on with the remaining steps if necessary.
4. Establish a small bedtime routine that anyone can do such as saying, “Okay, Madeline, it’s time for bed, night-night.” Then hold her closely, cuddle, pray, and sing a song. When the song is finished, lay her down, give a few pats, then walk out of the room.
5. A few ideas to make it easier for a newborn to get to sleep:

--Warm the baby’s bassinet with a heating pad. Before laying baby down, remove pad and check to make sure the mattress is not too hot.

--If baby is sleeping on a smaller-sized bassinet mattress, use a t-shirt that mom has worn for a few hours to cover the mattress. Mom’s scent helps to calm baby.

6. At this point, if the baby is put down awake, she will most likely cry. (Please see note below regarding Crying.) It’s okay! You can pat her a few times to reassure her, but then walk out of the room and close the door. Let baby cry! It’s okay and even necessary! Now, it is very difficult to hear the poor baby’s cries and not respond. Actually, you are responding, just not in the way your baby expects or wants. Wait at least 5 minutes, then you may go in and give her a few pats. Do not pick her up unless she is hysterical. If you must pick the baby up, hold her briefly, offering comfort, then put back to bed, and give a couple of more pats. This may be enough to calm her; however, it may be that your baby reacts to not being picked up and cries even harder. Whether or not your baby calms down, leave the room again and close the door. Repeat step 6 until baby falls asleep. Depending on your baby’s temperament, this may take one or two times, or it may take several. Once your baby’s cries begin to diminish, do not disturb her by going in to pat her. She’s on her way to sleep.
7. Do not give up once you have started putting baby to bed. Remember, you are doing this because she has been awake for 2 to 3 hours, she has shown “tired signs,” and she needs sleep as much as she needs to eat. Even though she cries, you know what she needs, and you love her enough to give her what she needs in spite of her cries.
8. Be consistent! Repeat this routine every time you put your baby to bed. Within a few days your baby will cry less and less before going to sleep. A strong-willed child will cry longer, a clear indication that this crying is closely tied to the will.
9. The earlier the age that you begin this training, the less your baby will cry.

Congratulations! You have now trained your baby to comfort herself and go to sleep on her own. You have begun her journey towards independence! (If you don’t want your child to gain her independence, then you have to examine some dependency issues you have yourself!) You also have established your rightful authority over your child, and have taken the first step towards disciplining her. Your success here will go far in bringing your child’s will into submission to yours and to God’s.

About Sleeping Through the Night:

We all rouse during the night. Modern science has demonstrated that we all have cycles of deep sleep alternating with light sleep and even wakefulness through the night. Adults and children who have normal sleep patterns barely notice these cycles because we have learned how to deal with them. Babies can learn, too! By teaching your baby how to fall asleep on her own at naptime and bedtime, you have enabled her to know how to get back to sleep after rousing at night without your help either with rocking and/or feeding. Please note that until a baby weighs between 10 to 15 pounds, she will probably need to be fed once during the night. If your baby is still hungry during the night, feed her, keep interaction to a minimum, and keep the room darkened. Only change the diaper if poopy. As soon as the feeding is complete, put her back to bed. Most babies go back to sleep easily, a bit more easily than going to sleep for naps. So far, all of my babies who have been trained to fall asleep on their own slept through the night by time they were 4 months old.

A Couple of Other Things:

· If at all possible, DO NOT WAKE A SLEEPING BABY!!! She will only be crabby!

· There is such a thing as the “Forty Minute Fussies.” I have found that approximately 40 minutes after the baby falls asleep, she wakes and cries. I have also found that if I do not get the baby out of bed and let her cry a bit (maybe go in for a few pats after 5 minutes or so of crying), she will go back to sleep and sleep at least another 40 to 60 minutes or more! This has been true for 8 out of my 8 babies. I’m guessing it’s a sleep cycle thing. After awhile, probably once they really can get themselves back to sleep, the “Forty Minute Fussies” disappear.

The Note About Crying:

• Babies Cry! (So do toddlers, preschoolers, school-agers, and teenagers.)
• Babies quickly learn that crying brings them attention. By time a baby is 6 months old she will know that she can manipulate Mom and Dad with her cries. I told you babies are intelligent!
• Strong-willed babies cry harder, longer, and louder than compliant babies.
• Mom and Dad need to be able to steel themselves to hearing their baby (or toddler, preschooler, school-ager, or teenager) crying. How many times have you been at a store and have overheard a parent say to a child, “Okay! I’ll buy you such-and-such, just stop crying!”
• The fact is, this small person will cry, and you must be a strong enough parent to say, “I hear you crying, but I know what is best for you, and I love you enough to do what is best for you even if it makes you cry.” (How often God must do that with us!)
• Remember that getting a baby to sleep by herself is just another aspect of child-training, and as in all aspects of child-training, you will hear crying.